Only Words
by Angels and Immortals
Summary: One innocent question forces Sesshomaru to face the fact that he may not be as heartless as he thinks.


Hi Everyone,

This is my first fan fiction, so please be gentle. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Flamers, you can stick your non-constructive criticism elsewhere. Please read, rate, and reply!

Sincerely,

Angels and Immortals

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha nor any of the characters. This is not done for profit, but merely for enjoyment. So, enjoy!

p.s. After an ingenious request made by a reviewer, I wrote a sequel called "Heartbeats". I hope it's a good one that lives up to the standards of a fan fictioner. =)

**Only Words**

The night was dark, a seeping kind of blackness that spilled across the landscape, drowning any slivers of light which fell from above. Even the shadow children dared not disturb the eerie calm that engulfed the forest, a calm that seemed to suffocate the very earth itself.

There was, however, a faint ember amidst the ocean of black. A light, flickering in the windless breeze, tore through the the veil of darkness, casting a glow on its masters. Nearby rested a small girl nestled against the side of a two headed beast. The fire threw its glow on her, illuminating the tranquil expression on her face, as well as the dragon like demon that served as her pillow. Two eyes, a brilliant gold that would shame even the most lustrous of gems, quietly studied the sleeping pair. They belonged to the Demon Lord known as Lord Sesshomaru, a cruel and merciless being who destroyed all who opposed him and gladly disemboweled anyone who dared to get in the way of his desires.

A grunt shot through the air, interrupting his thoughts. Golden irises glanced towards the disturbance, a green toad demon named Jaken, who accompanied Sesshomaru on his travels. Blissfully unaware of the possible danger, Jaken continued to snore and wheeze in his slumber.

As hard as Sesshomaru tried, sleep would not join him. Questions like angry bees buzzed around in his brain, drowning out hopes of rest. It was something the little human girl named Rin had asked him earlier, and sadly to say he could not escape the question. It was so simple, so very child like, that he should have easily been able to answer it. Yet he couldn't, leaving him in an unshakable state of contemplation. For if there was one thing that Sesshomaru hated, it was a lack of comprehension. The girl, without even knowing it, had ripped from his mind the very question he'd buried long ago in the deep recesses of his subconscious. And now, as he rested against the straight trunk of a cedar tree, his thoughts came back to taunt him.

_"Lord Sesshomaru, may I ask a question?" Rin asked. Her brown eyes, shining bright, studied him with deep affection. Earlier that day Sesshomaru and Inuyasha had fought in a bloody battle that left Inuyasha in tatters and Sesshomaru victorious. Rin found it strange that brothers would fight so often, with no regard for the others life. After all, family was family. What was so bad about Inuyasha anyways? She decided to ask her Lord about it, reassured that all would be explained._

_"What Rin?" he said, little inflection coloring his voice. The regal demon was silent death and walked as all great beings did, at his own leisurely pace. Fear, a foreign concept to a master of the kill, did not mar the stride of one who could kill all in his way._

_"My Lord, why do you hate your brother so?" Rin asked curiously. Shifting in the saddle, she cast her full attention on Sesshomaru, aware of his improved mood by the set of his shoulders. He was always in a much better way after winning a battle._

_"He is an unworthy mongrel who has disgraced my father's name," was his short response._

_"Oh." Rin sat quietly awhile, thinking. Lord Sesshomaru had always taught her to think before she spoke lest she waste his time with stupidity. She began twining her fingers in the dragon beast's mane, carefully braiding and then unraveling her work, gears stalling in her mind. Ah-Un huffed its disapproval of her fidgeting, but Rin was too distracted to notice. After some time she spoke again, careful of her words. "Um, my Lord, may I ask what he is unworthy of?" _

_"He is unworthy of living," Sesshomaru replied in his smooth voice. An image of his half-brother flashed through his mind, bringing with it a cold fury. Just knowing that such vermin had his father's noble blood pulsing through his veins made him want to slit his brothers throat and spill it on the ground. Better there than keeping that half breed alive. _

"_But-"_

_The long silent Jaken cut the air with an arrogant snort,"Really Rin, are you that stupid? Lord Sesshomaru detests that half-breed because he disgraces the name of the noble Inutaisho with his filthy human blood! My dear Lord hates humans, they're so whiny and weak and stupid, not to mention useless." _

_She opened her mouth to speak, quick to refute such a claim. Surely her Lord didn't hate all humans.. _

_Did he?_

_The question tasted bitter on her tongue, anxious to be spat out. Yet when she tried-_

_Jaken continued rambling, his large head bobbing up and down on his thin shoulders, oblivious to Rin's hands limp against the saddle. "Yes, useless and weak indeed. And always in the way . . ."_

_They traveled for miles that day, crossing the rolling landscape. Strangely, the exuberance that usually exuded from Rin was gone. The toad demon's goading did nothing to change her mood, nor did the beautiful weather. Not even the pleasant field of flowers they stumbled upon sparked any kind of interest. _

_Sesshomaru had known the moment she fell silent that something was amiss, but decided to dismiss it as the folly of a human child. But when the sun bed down to sleep and she still was not herself, he decided it would be best for him if he asked her._

_"Rin."_

_The little dark haired child glanced up from stirring the pot of food that Jaken was drooling over._

_"Yes, me Lord" she said, giving him her full attention._

_"Why are you not yourself?"_

_Rin shifted uncomfortably, as she was apt to do when faced with something unpleasant. Small hands fed the hungry fire with bits of dry leaves before resuming her stirring._

_"Yes Rin, what is the matter with you? Not that I'm complaining or anything. A little silence around here has been quite welcomed today.."_

_"Jaken, go gather wood," Sesshomaru commanded quietly. An undercurrent of danger was there, something not missed by the little demon. _

_"Y..yes my Lord," he stammered, hurrying off._

_Rin continued to stir the food, peering into its depths as if they could give her the answer. Sesshomaru gazed at the uneasy child, hearing the increased pattering of her heart, smelling apprehension wafting from her. Just when his patience was at its end, Rin blurted out, "Lord Sesshomaru, if you hate your brother because he's half human, then do you hate me too?" Fear, sadness, and tears swam in her gaze. Eyes pleading for him to say no, she stared at him with remarkable intensity for one so young, then abruptly looked away._

_Rarely was Sesshomaru startled. He was calm by nature. A logical and level headed demon who faced all challenges with the same demeanor of impassivity. This, however, was one of the few times when the rules did not apply. Here was the question that had plagued him from the moment he brought her back from the dead using his Tenseiga. Like a ghost, it would drift back across his mind once in awhile, only to be shoved away by the head of reason. Now it had come back to slap him in the face, a reminder that maybe he wasn't as smart as he thought he was. After all, how does one answer an illogical question with a logical answer?_

_Showing no visible signs of his distress, he walked over and looked down at the distraught child. Her eyes were pouring tears, reddening her face and making her nose run. Panic ran rampant across her features, a blind terror that threatened to send her into hysteria. Sesshomaru gracefully sat down, still looking at the poor girl. _

_"Rin, have I not cared for you? Protected you from harm? Provided you with a home?"_

_She nodded mutely, unable to speak through her pain._

_"Do you think that I, Lord Sesshomaru, would go through the trouble of caring for one that is of no value to him?"_

_Quietly, the girl shook her head no._

_"Then do not ask such stupid questions," he replied curtly. In the back of his mind he hoped that she did not press the issue. After all, how was he to fully explain something to her that he couldn't fully grasp himself? _

_His response doused her fears like a flood to a campfire. She beamed, a watery smile so radiant that it resembled the sun bursting through storm clouds. _

_And then she did something no other had dared. Rin abruptly hugged him, arms wrapping around his waist and her small face pressed into his shoulder, smile finally restored. In a flash she realized her mistake, unheard apologies pouring from her lips as Sesshomaru sank into contemplation._

Sesshomaru shifted his position against the trunk, bringing his thoughts to the present. Why _did_ he save her? She was nothing, some insignificant human who was foolish enough to come near a wounded demon. And furthermore, why would he, a demon who despised anything mortal, revive a human child and care for her? To repay her kindness? To test his sword?

Another snort from Jaken prompted Sesshomaru to give him a swift kick, one which roused the toad enough to quiet himself.

Did he care for her? In a way, he supposed. She was not an object of his deep affection, but he definitely felt protective towards the girl.

Protective. That was the term his father used years ago when he asked Sesshomaru whether or not he had someone to protect. At the time, Sesshomaru thought that the concept of protecting another at the sake of ones own well being was moronic. Why do something so foolish? It was utterly ridiculous to die saving someone else. The strong lived and the weak died. The strong dying for the weak was not only wrong, but it went against nature. Yet, here he was, years later, risking his life to protect a human of all things.

He'd always thought he was better than his father, a foolish demon who died protecting a wench and her bastard son. A fools game, so to speak. And now here he was, years later, a willing participant in the same foolish game.

A soft murmur escaped from Rin's lips. Glancing over, Sesshomaru saw a serious look on her face. She was murmuring something unintelligible while she slept. It was low, even for his demonic hearing. Leaning forward slightly, he tried to listen to her words.

"Lord Sesshomaru, I have a flower for you... It isn't a fish or a Jaken, but it's good.."

She continued to babble nonsense in her sleep. So serious was her expression, that even Sesshomaru had to chuckle. At least she was entertaining.

He remembered vaguely when he first saw her. Chains of agony bound him to the ground like a pathetic dog, and all the while that terrible rushing in his ears, steadily nudging the remainder of his sanity towards the brink of no return. The pain hit a crescendo, the sound reaching an incessant roaring that snapped the reason in him, just as the scent of human slipped through the wood. A face, terrified, then fear crumbling into calm determination before his head met the dirt.

Rin attempted to care for him. Sesshomaru refused her at every turn, telling her that he did not want her help. Yet she still persisted, limping into the clearing one day with a cooked fish in tow. When she offered him the food, he once again refused. He felt her disappointment, heard her sigh in exasperation. Without looking at her, he'd asked where she'd gotten those bruises. Quickly after that, he told her he didn't really care but was only curious. It didn't matter to her. The sheer happiness on her battered face was enough to make him ask why she was smiling when it was only a question.

Then later he'd found her dead. A bloody mound crumpled on the earth, she laid there staring into nothingness. Her arms had been flung outwards, as if she had been running towards something... Claiming to be testing his sword, he'd brought her back to the world of the living. And she'd followed him ever since.

With that memory brought a notion, a small inkling that demanded attention. How stupid was this child to entrust her life to a demon, a killer? She saw his eyes blossom crimson, the fangs and claws that could have so easily cut the jugular pulsing under her skin if she were to step too close. And yet she still came to tend to him, to watch over him when he himself had not the ability to kill even a human child in his weakened state. As the days wore on and strength reanimated his body, she persisted in her visits, though he was a beast no longer vulnerable, no longer weakened, no longer patient of her mothering.

A tendril of memory snaked out, wrapping itself around Sesshomaru's consciousness, embellishing his thoughts with more recollections of their first meeting. When all reasoning had abandoned him, leaving primal instinct for self-preservation, why did he not kill the threat? Though he did not like to admit it, in that moment he was no match for even the weakest of humans. Then why let her live? He shut his lids, sifting through memories muddled by time and circumstance.

Her eyes.

They were too old, too pained, to rest in the skull of a child, heavy with worry and grief not meant for a sprouting youth. The same orbs held but a moment of fear that stretched the brown irises wide, a sentiment quickly stifled by their master's grief, these were the eyes of a being so gentle that the rage of his demonic nature was quieted, reassured that it would be safe, that the little creature would not hurt him.

And then the buzzing in his head turned into a sort of whirling, like a thread on a spindle.

Rin had been kind. Compassionate. Merciful.

And with no reason to be.

Slightly unsettled eyes parted the darkness to rest on the sleeping child, understanding demolishing confusion.

With nothing to gain, but all to lose, the girl-child cared for him when he himself could not, because it was the right thing to do, because her nature would not permit her to walk away from a dying man. This same nature disregarded the fact that at any moment he could snap her neck for mere enjoyment, could twist her windpipe until it resembled a corded rope. She kept trying, never fearing him or his intentions, tirelessly attempting to heal a creature not wishing for such attention. So not only had she shown him kindness, Sesshomaru realized, but Rin had trusted him against all rational thought, against all circumstance, against her very human nature.

To kill one so compassionate, so blindly faithful, would have been a waste, an injustice even he himself would never have shaken from his conscience.

Not a rustle, not a whisper of clothes marked his movement as he settled himself next to Rin. The blanket held tight around her, mouth slightly agape and drooling, she slept on, unaware of the clawed hand slowly untangling her mop of hair. One strand at a time, he picked out the little debris she seemed to collect traveling with a pack of demons, tugging at a small leaf which had found its way in her ponytail, working his way from the tips up. Grooming herself was another human habit which Rin seemed averted to, preferring to wade in the river streams and running her fingers through her hair as opposed to proper methods.

A soft grumble and a toss of her head sent Sesshomaru back to his earlier seat, now immersed in the future.

She would die one day. That was the way mortality worked. But if he was to make her into part demon, death would have no claim. This idea appealed to him. Would he want her around years from now? Only time would tell. It was a thought for a later time, when she was older. Until then, he would bide his time and protect his ward. No harm would come to her, that he would make sure of. After all, she was important to him, and Sesshomaru planned to keep her safe. That was the only thing he could and would do.

For now.


End file.
